In 2015, at the advanced age of 22, I made a greyscale pixel-art zine [Link to PDF] about why I hated pop-punk. Yeah, I know. Get ready for...

INDIE KID

Back cover: I made a zine long after it became cool... it's ironic. Front cover: Indie kid: a low-res, auto-bio zine on: hipster bullshit saved my life; I hate pop-punk; my childhood is retro now; and much more!

No work can be non-derivative, but this zine is an informal pop-culture history, so it makes extensive reference to the intellectual property of others. I don't profit from this zine, and believe it to be Fair Use. Lyrics start, ending at boy: When I was a young boy, so-called pop-punk had its first hey-day. It was ubiquitous. I hated it. Still do.

Not for lack of trying, mind. My only friend at the time loved it, so I did my best to like it, too. No dice! (And pop-punk guys wore eyeliner- a big deal for closet trans girl me!) I hated it so much, from the whiny vocals to the edgy (yet boring) lyrics, right down to the godawful chucks. Talk about ubiquity! But what other choice did I have?

My CD wallet was full of Broadway soundtracks from the 70s on back. Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon was the closest to current pop in it. In short, I had no taste. Zilch. I was a tabula rasa, with only my visceral aversion to crap to guide me. Enter: my brother. W has taste. He always has. Frankly it's intimidating.

At that point in my life, W and I mostly talked online, even living in the same house. He found out I liked guys from Xanga, and told me over AIM. He led with Heard you're a fag, then told me he was bi. Anyway, what I'm getting at is, the main character of this story is a point in time- the soul of the mid two thousand X-es. So when W saved my life, it was by sending me a band's Myspace.

The band was the Unicorns, and it was love at first listen.

When people ask me now to name my favorite musical genre, I find myself at a loss for words. Pretentious hipster shit circa oh-6? But at the time, it was called indie. Indie was weird, self-consciously so. It didn't sound like anything on the radio, and though at first it just meant acts not signed to a major label, it had a sense of sounding different- albeit in similar ways!

I became an indie kid immediately, and took my newfound taste in music as a sign to start fresh. My relationship with pop-punk girl was toxic, so I cut it off and made new friends- I do think that saved my life. (Pop-punk girl and I both chilled out, and we're great friends now. For the record, that friendship was a two-way trainwreck!)

6. The Smiths, album: Louder than Bombs. 7. Of Montreal, album: Cherry Peel. 8. Beirut, album: Elephant Gun. 9. Bright Eyes, album: I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning. 10. Teenage Mysticism, album: Dead Channels. 11. The Shins, album: Chutes Too Narrow. Copyright 2015-2018: Madison Viande (writer, artist, et cetera). Email: madsviande@gmail.com. Instagram: bitterbonch.